I’m Bruised but Not Broken

Hello readers. I have tried to remain as open to the fans as much as possible without revealing enough to point direct fingers. This will probably be my only exception because the hurt I am dealing with has nothing to do with SL. I am writing this however because there is a lot of stuff in my RL that has caused me pain within the beginning of this month. So here I will explain because I know we all have things that transpire and we learn from the pain or mistakes.

So a while back lets say hmm about 7 months ago I had written about my boyfriend who had gone to Afghanistan. I had been worried for months after about his disappearance. I started noticing some odd things about a month or two later starting with Skype. I noticed he had removed me from Skype but had not returned my phone calls. Then I noticed my phone calls were not going through all the way. I thought perhaps he had gotten injured and his phone was off. For months I could not find it in my heart to move on and no matter how hard I tried my best to love someone else I couldn’t. I thought I had found my soulmate, my significant other, and someone I could perhaps grow old with. I basically let my wall down and allowed him to give me such amazing feelings. I found a loophole though through what had seemed to be an obstacle course. I then learned what had really happened. I asked my best friend to call him on his phone because I knew he would have probably picked up from not knowing the area code. Sure enough he did and my heart sunk! I did not know what to think but I asked my friend to call him again and just ask “why?” He responded saying he still had love for me, but he had impregnated an ex of his and was too much of a chicken shit to let me know. Instead, he used his military background and LIED. I cried and cried until I couldn’t bear the pain anymore. I wanted to take my bottle of vodka and just pour it down my throat. I felt betrayed, hurt, and simply mad all rolled into one! There was no way that he could have been vindicated from this. I tried to text him and call him. Once again nothing! I just felt like I would get no more answers after that. I felt that it was enough for me to close the chapter once and for all.

There is my personal struggle, now mix that with this upcoming surgery my mother is having, and a huge drama between my sis and her bf and I have a heap of an emotional mess to deal with. It has taken almost all of my energy away to do anything. Blogging was my passion, and when I don’t feel that passion, I shouldn’t be doing it because I was not just blogging for myself, I had people giving me items they had worked hard on to be blogged and the last thing I need to do is disappoint anyone. Therefore, I don’t know when my next blog will be, but just know I am not a quitter. I need this time to deal with emotions and to get back to this happy place again. Once I feel I can do that, I will def come back.

I refuse to make this blog all about negatives. There are a few positives I want to include! Thank you Skyla for being the understanding person you are! If there are any questions about the Done Wiv a Twist Sim please talk to her or Allysondwyer Resident. As I have written previously, I have made contact with Ema again and things are off to a great start, thank you as well for wanting to work on our friendship again. Tev, thanks for being awesome and understanding. My fb friends, thank you for brightening my days with your silly quotes, memes, videos, and inspirational words. As the title of this is, I am Bruised but not Broken, I will never allow anyone to break me! As much as I could have done, I decided not to let anyone defeat me. I would rather lose sleep for a few days then begin to drink, or anything self inflicting. I love you all and if there is anything you want to do for me, just give someone a hug…a long meaningful hug! I will be back when the time is right, until then, please continue to read the blog as Skyla will be continuing and enjoy the sim!

❤ Saxxy

Advertisements

4 responses

  1. Whitburn Blackburn | Reply

    Saxxy, sounds like you’re having a really tough time, my heart goes out to you. The blog is secondary, give yourself time and thngs will come back to you. I can’t offer any consolation without resorting to cliches and triteness, but you have had the strength to take the right steps over your ex. Just don’t let the experience sour your ability to open up in future, that would be a real shame. Value yourself, you can and will cope with all that is being thrown at you. I’ll look forward to your return when you are in a better place. xx

    1. Thank you, I know I am having a weak moment right now but it will get better. ❤

  2. […] Done wiva Twist on 6. Juli 2014 08:46 in category Done wiva Twist (1 votes, average: 3,00 out of 5)  Loading […]

  3. What you have done here is such a brave thing you opened up and let people into the darkest saddest part of your life. You are an inspiration to others to open up and let people in and get help if they need it. You take the time you need and there will be a lot of people here behind you backing you with love and support when you need it. Sending you a huge virtual hug hun stay strong xxx

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: